MIGHT THIS BE A GOOD TIME TO CONSIDER DIGITAL DETOX?

Digital Excess and Cognitive Decline

 

With Permission, By

David Edelberg, MD @ Whole Health Chicago

Try this experiment. Sit somewhere unobserved, like a Starbuck’s or a doctor’s waiting room, and just watch people. If you see someone sitting alone, likely she’ll be checking her smart phone or laptop or plugging into music. People sitting in groups of two or more will interrupt themselves to glance at their phones, text-checking. If someone’s phone actually rings or vibrates, watch for the sudden startle response, a mini-version of the fight-or-flight response that protects us from muggers and marauding bears, now mainly used for phone answering.

Today, devices seem to always trump personal interaction.
If you think about it, just about everyone in your field of vision does something during the day that involves something digital. Many are engaged in what’s widely called multi-tasking. Of course when we multi-task we don’t really perform two or more tasks at the same moment. We simply spend less time on each effort, incessantly shifting focus and attention. And after a day in the digital world, we return home, where we continue to use our electronic devices for personal use, TV’s 800 cable channels and 50,000 Netflix movies at the ready.
According to the latest data, kids 8 to 18 spend 7.5 hours every day amusing themselves with screen time (TV, video games, phone) and listen to most of their music (and conduct phone conversations) with ear buds in position. This prepares them well for the adult digital life we observed in our earlier Starbuck’s/doctor’s office experiment.
Is a life like this–incessantly audiovisual when young, nonstop screen and phone checking as we get older–“bad” for us? Are there long-term health consequences? Since the digital world that dominates our lives hasn’t been around long, we simply don’t know. But given what we’re observing now, we can make some educated guesses.
Digital-free camping
For example, when psychologists took a group of 20-somethings on a five-day, digital-free camping trip, based on well-conceived psychological testing there was a 50% increase in their creative skills when they returned. You really can’t interpret a study like this to prove that a 24/7 digital world will necessarily result in a decline of creativity, but our minds do need stimulus-free down time to develop new ideas. In a beautiful phraseology, the study’s authors write: “Our modern society is filled with sudden events (sirens, horns, ringing phones, alarms, television, etc.) that hijack attention. By contrast, natural environments are associated with gentle, soft fascination, allowing the executive attentional system to replenish.”
In its own way, being on a nature trip like this, freeing your mind to wander or concentrate as you desire, is similar to practicing mindfulness meditation, a brain exercise anyone can learn that also has been shown to boost creativity.
A lot of research has been done on mindfulness meditation, perhaps most exciting its ability to rewire your brain (no matter how old you are), activating the prefrontal cortex so that your brain functions like that of someone younger than you. Practicing mindfulness meditation also increases connectivity in the very areas affected most dramatically by the cognitive decline of aging and Alzheimer’s. It’s even tempting to conjecture that cognitive decline could be prevented by 15 to 30 minutes of daily mindfulness meditation.
We can’t practice mindfulness meditation and text-check at the same time. The question then might be asked, “Are we even capable of being digital-free for a block of time each day? Is it too late to change?” Apparently, changing is a lot harder than we think.
Digital detox, now with analog games
The New York Times recently reported that an enterprising couple, themselves once severe digital addicts, were organizing device-free “Digital Detox” parties. In addition to the standard party fare of drinks and munchies were all sorts of analog distractions for idle hands, including board games, colored thread for friendship bracelets, and manual typewriters. And yes, it was very (very!) difficult for many people. The reporter writes that a woman who worked the entry door checking in digital devices “thought she had seen the unpretty face of addiction” and withdrawal, with one guest reporting “My whole life is on this phone.”
We really don’t know the long-range effects of 7 ½ hours of daily screen time on young people. Nor do we know what happens to our brains when we’re endlessly interrupted by  miniaturized startle responses. But let’s face facts–it doesn’t sound healthy. Are we in the foothills of a collective cognitive decline, just like we all might be going deaf from ear buds?
I’ve certainly observed the stress response in my patients who come into the examining room having forgotten to turn off their phones. One was in the midst of relating a troubling health issue when her phone rang (I’ve never been able to completely enjoy Ode to Joy from Beethoven’s Ninth since phones started blasting it). She embarrassedly fumbled with her handbag to silence the monster. Two minutes later, it rang again. “Damn, I thought I’d turned it off. I’m so sorry.” Now she’s lost track of what she was telling me. Two minutes later, again. Now she’s really startled. “I am so sorry, Dr E, it’s a new phone and I can’t seem to get the off button right.”
These events seems to upset my patients far more than me, but as I sit and watch I worry that anyone could actually live like this. After this visit, my patient will leave the office, turn her phone on (correctly), and all day long be besieged by ringing or by its more ubiquitous cousin, “checking,” “checking,” “checking.”

This might be a good time to consider your own personal digital detox. Immerse yourself in nature by taking a trip or simply going for an untethered walk in the park. Consider a course in mindfulness meditation. Open up a few new brain pathways and…
Be well,

Impatience

Impatience shelters certain emotions. Each painful to experience as they are. Each emotion molded from a thought or perspective we had in the moment of an early and unacceptable experience. I'm not sure any of us can claim not to be impatient. We all are to some degree. The frequency of times we are impatient isn't so much of an issue, though. More so is lacking the consciousness to see the underlying feelings.

Beyond what impatience looks like on the surface. Impatience is a form of self protection. The automaticity with which we become impatient prevents us from experiencing other feelings. Feelings we've decided are negative and detrimental. It's actually out of self love that we developed this machinery. Yes. Self Love. We fail to see that. But, from what else would protecting ourselves from painful feelings come from?

On the surface we think of our impatience as being caused by someone taking a greater amount of time to express their thoughts or convey a message than we think it should or some process taking more time then what we believe is necessary. So, given that in this scenario we assess our experience of impatience as being caused by something other than ourselves, we assume the roll of victim. Yes, you can say that we are all just victims of our circumstances. ...............


That is until you see that the circumstances are no more or less than just that. Circumstances. Those things are just the way things are. That person? That person is being just the way they're being. Things are just the way they are. Though you may be thinking, whatever it is, is taking "too much" time, truth is that that person or that process is taking a specific amount of time. The fact that you subjectively think it's too much time is just that, a subjective thought. The circumstances are just what they are. And, your thoughts are just they way they are. Both, just as they are...no more, no less.

So then, if the circumstances are no more or less than just what they are, how is it you feel like a victim? Why is there such a feeling of being beaten up? Or, beaten down. Kinda like David would've felt if the "David And Goliath" story hadn't gone the way it did.

If the circumstances cannot have any affect on you.. then what is? If, in fact, you cannot be a victim of the circumstances, are you a victim at all??

Observation Does Not Involve Judgment.

Observation Does Not Involve Judgment.

Observing something and making a judgment about it are two separate things. 

When we observe something.. for instance, how someone is dressed, or their posture, or the color of their skin, all we are doing is collecting data. During this process, there is no assessing, evaluating, interpreting, or judging. We are just noticing something exactly as it is. Like facts, these things are neither right or wrong, good or bad, better or worse. We are not making comparisons. We are just seeing what is there. Exactly as it is. No more, no less.

But, of course, we also judge and evaluate, and compare. It's just part and parcel of being human. We take that data and we reflect on it using previous experiences in an attempt to understand what it means. Of course, this will never allow us to know what it means. Because, at best, whatever we come up with will only be a speculation. Regardless, however, it is what we do. That's just the way the brain works. 

Of course, this does not mean we can't be aware of these two distinctions. Observing Something. And, evaluating something. 

But, what's the point of becoming aware of these two distinctions or being able to consciously distinguish one from the other, you might ask. Well, here's the thing... Not knowing that what you think about what you see is just that, a thought, not a fact, will limit you to responses only be based on an assumption. For example; Let's say a person is wearing clothing that in your estimation fits poorly. Maybe it's wrinkled and could use a good press. Or, it seems dated. If this is the case, you might conclude that this person lacks a certain standing, or maybe competence. If so, you may very well interact with this person on the basis of that assumption. In doing so, you may find you're interaction to cause some friction. Especially if that individual is not as you've assumed them to be. 

Being able to recognize your assessments about something or someone as distinct from the information you've collected by observation enables you to more consciously choose how you want to engage with them. And, often times, that will provide the opportunity to get to know more about that individual than you might have unknowingly thought you already knew. 

The quality of our relationships are often driven by assumptions we make about the other person. We often operate with those individuals as if we already know more about them than we really do. And, that may often leave the other person offended and hurt because it seems you don't know them at all or do not respect them for who they really are. We most likely do not see the arrogance that this represents. But, they will.

The work that I do with my clients involves learning to recognize such distinctions that, without awareness of, creates and perpetuates situations and relationships that fall short of our desires. Facts from interpretations. Feelings from thoughts. Emotions from actions. Mastering the ability to recognize these and other distinctions will give you the power to choose, act, and communicate in ways that produce greater satisfaction in your life. And, will empower your ability to be authentic and true in your relationships and the circumstances of your life. 

If you want to know more, you know where to find me.

Love,
Rj
TrueSelf.

My Random Political Views On Current Issues

My Random Political Views On Current Issues 

I appreciate the ability to disagree without personal attacks and with people who, I believe like yourself, are for the most part open and receptive to opinions that differ from their own. I think that this is what's missing, not just in politics but within today's culture. And, while I believe our political figures today contribute to the rancor and hostility, the media's willingness to broadcast spin without helping the public decipher and actually investigate that spin, just reinforces this discourse. 

Unfortunately, we are a society of too few well informed citizens. We may be increasingly well educated, though these individuals still do not make up our majority. But, unfortunately, even the educational opportunities that do exist don't produce the well informed. But, that's a whole other issue that I think is sorely missing from today's political debate. The profound ineffectiveness of today's educational opportunities.

It was made clear from the moment Barack Obama took office what the Republicans number one, overriding agenda was. And, that was to deny this President a second term. So, given this, how can anyone not consider that as the motivation behind every disagreement and block that they put in Obama's way? Really! I know many people see me as a liberal.. I am. But, I am also, at least in my opinion, pretty level headed. I remember back when John McCain was running against George Bush in the Republican primaries of 2000. He was his old maverick self. And, I genuinely considered giving him my vote should he have been nominated. He was rational. Made sense. Seemed genuinely independent in his reasoning. And expressed a deep understanding of the value of strengthening the middle class. But, even he has become a mouth piece for the right wingnuts. .....Sorry, the right wing. Though, I think of them as the wrong wing. OK. Enough..... It's mind boggling to me... it really is, as to why so many in the middle class, would compromise their own best interests to support Mitt Romney and his one-dimensional running mate. What I am left with thinking is that these people are not so much infatuated by Romney, after all why would they be, but more so by an anti-Obama gut driven attitude. With ever more certainty I believe racism is definitely one factor. Because when you exclude all the reasons why these individuals should support the only one of the two candidates who has consistently supported the causes of this group, what else is there to conclude. Call them closeted bigots.. or maybe they really can't see it themselves. But, c'mon.. what else could it be. The stronger the middle class, the more the wealthy benefit. The percentage of income the middle class spends in the market place is far larger than that of the '1 percenters'. And, that spending spurs the economy. A stronger wealthy class?... By all measures, In the eight years of the Bush administration the wealthiest Americans fared best.. And, what happened? Apparently these "job creators" must have been preoccupied with something else. Like squirrels, they socked away all that money. And, why would anyone expect them to do anything else? Where's the evidence that they will do anything other than what best serves themselves? And, while I understand that there's an argument to be had about why we should all have the right to do whatever we want with our hard earned money, many of these so called job creators have earned that money through questionable means that challenge ethics if not actual laws. And, why, in the name of sensibility, would we want a man who hides his income in foreign countries and conceals his taxes with a cavalier and prima donna attitude running this country? Is that really the example we want to lead us? Or for that matter, the criteria we want to use to justify this candidates nomination?.

Regarding immigration, I believe we must strive to for an enlightened approach. So that our society and it's ills can actually improve, moving us forward toward a better future. This outcome should be the context for any debate. The idea that we should just round up everyone, or as Romney has suggested "Self Deportation", that America’s 11 million undocumented immigrants would simply go home if government made their lives miserable enough", is cruel and small minded. And, in no way would that provide an example of what we need more of in our culture, civility.

And, as for the Right's issues with Gay marriage and abortion, well I confess, I'm baffled. It's fascinating to me, really, how the Republicans can be the voice of a limiting government oversight and getting government out of our lives, yet at the same time proposing Federal laws to govern marriage and a woman's right to choose. Not to mention guns and capitol punishment.

I think what this President has been the worst at is keeping the public informed as to what he's done that has and will improve our circumstances and the reasoning he's employed in his process.

For me, there is so much hate and cruelty in our society and a lack of civility that while I may not agree with every decision being made on my behalf, I take into consideration where I believe the motivations come from. I don't think Romney is a bad man. But, I do think he is weak. John Kerry was measured by his flip flops, though I think in many cases unfairly. So, why shouldn't Mitt? And, there are many.

My Random Political Views On Current Issues

I appreciate the ability to disagree without personal attacks and with people who, I believe like yourself, are for the most part open and receptive to opinions that differ from their own. I think that this is what's missing, not just in politics but within today's culture. And, while I believe our political figures today contribute to the rancor and hostility, the media's willingness to broadcast spin without helping the public decipher and actually investigate that spin, just reinforces this discourse. 

Unfortunately, we are a society of too few well informed citizens. We may be increasingly well educated, though these individuals still do not make up our majority. But, unfortunately, even the educational opportunities that do exist don't produce the well informed. But, that's a whole other issue that I think is sorely missing from today's political debate. The profound ineffectiveness of today's educational opportunities.

It was made clear from the moment Barack Obama took office what the Republicans number one, overriding agenda was. And, that was to deny this President a second term. So, given this, how can anyone not consider that as the motivation behind every disagreement and block that they put in Obama's way? Really! I know many people see me as a liberal.. I am. But, I am also, at least in my opinion, pretty level headed. I remember back when John McCain was running against George Bush in the Republican primaries of 2000. He was his old maverick self. And, I genuinely considered giving him my vote should he have been nominated. He was rational. Made sense. Seemed genuinely independent in his reasoning. And expressed a deep understanding of the value of strengthening the middle class. But, even he has become a mouth piece for the right wingnuts. .....Sorry, the right wing. Though, I think of them as the wrong wing. OK. Enough..... It's mind boggling to me... it really is, as to why so many in the middle class, would compromise their own best interests to support Mitt Romney and his one-dimensional running mate. What I am left with thinking is that these people are not so much infatuated by Romney, after all why would they be, but more so by an anti-Obama gut driven attitude. With ever more certainty I believe racism is definitely one factor. Because when you exclude all the reasons why these individuals should support the only one of the two candidates who has consistently supported the causes of this group, what else is there to conclude. Call them closeted bigots.. or maybe they really can't see it themselves. But, c'mon.. what else could it be. The stronger the middle class, the more the wealthy benefit. The percentage of income the middle class spends in the market place is far larger than that of the '1 percenters'. And, that spending spurs the economy. A stronger wealthy class?... By all measures, In the eight years of the Bush administration the wealthiest Americans fared best.. And, what happened? Apparently these "job creators" must have been preoccupied with something else. Like squirrels, they socked away all that money. And, why would anyone expect them to do anything else? Where's the evidence that they will do anything other than what best serves themselves? And, while I understand that there's an argument to be had about why we should all have the right to do whatever we want with our hard earned money, many of these so called job creators have earned that money through questionable means that challenge ethics if not actual laws. And, why, in the name of sensibility, would we want a man who hides his income in foreign countries and conceals his taxes with a cavalier and prima donna attitude running this country? Is that really the example we want to lead us? Or for that matter, the criteria we want to use to justify this candidates nomination?.

Regarding immigration, I believe we must strive to for an enlightened approach. So that our society and it's ills can actually improve, moving us forward toward a better future. This outcome should be the context for any debate. The idea that we should just round up everyone, or as Romney has suggested "Self Deportation", that America’s 11 million undocumented immigrants would simply go home if government made their lives miserable enough", is cruel and small minded. And, in no way would that provide an example of what we need more of in our culture, civility.

And, as for the Right's issues with Gay marriage and abortion, well I confess, I'm baffled. It's fascinating to me, really, how the Republicans can be the voice of a limiting government oversight and getting government out of our lives, yet at the same time proposing Federal laws to govern marriage and a woman's right to choose. Not to mention guns and capitol punishment.

I think what this President has been the worst at is keeping the public informed as to what he's done that has and will improve our circumstances and the reasoning he's employed in his process.

For me, there is so much hate and cruelty in our society and a lack of civility that while I may not agree with every decision being made on my behalf, I take into consideration where I believe the motivations come from. I don't think Romney is a bad man. But, I do think he is weak. John Kerry was measured by his flip flops, though I think in many cases unfairly. So, why shouldn't Mitt? And, there are many.

Should-ing All Over Yourself

Do you use the word "should" very often? In the conversations you have with yourself or others, do you frequently say things like, "I should really finish my homework"? Or, "I should call her back"? Or, "I should eat more vegetables". If you're like most, you have some awareness of using this word but, no idea of how often. I think we have integrated this word, like so many others, so fully into our discourse that we don't even recognize our use of it or the affect it has on our experience. This isn't just semantics. Language affects the way we think, feel, and act. And, hearing certain words more frequently than others perpetuates thoughts, feelings, and actions of a certain kind. Language can motivate (think cheerleaders), stimulate (academic lectures), and, unfortunately, denigrate (undeserved criticism). So, for anyone interested in personal growth and reclaiming their experience of authenticity, it would be a useful exercise to examine the automaticity of using this particular word and how it affects your mood and attitude.

Our choice of words and specifically using the word should, can indicate how we think of ourselves in relationship to the world around us. Reflecting on your use of this particular word, you may see it expresses an obligation and contributes to your stress. As if we do not already have enough of either. Using Should expresses a need, even when want may be a more appropriate word to use.

"I should really return his phone call".  "I should take advantage of this opportunity". "I should tell her how I feel".
       But, do you want to?
"I don't know".

This is a fairly common exchange which occurs between myself and my client in session. This exchange also reveals something fairly common yet unconscious for most of us. And, that is that we are more familiar with what we should do than what we want. And yet, given a choice, I think it's fair to say that most of us would prefer to do more of what we want than what we should. We just don't realize we actually have a choice. We can all live our lives more consistent with what we want. It's just that without knowing how to distinguish between shoulds and wants we are not able to be true to ourselves.

If you spend more time invested in thinking about what you should do than about what you want, you should all over yourself!

Look at the frequency and context in which you use the word, should. Explore using the word, want, in it's place. Practice replacing should with want. Consider using want in conversation at least to the same degree as you use the word, should. Notice and, if possible, write down your thoughts and feelings about the exchange of words.

In my experience, when we use the word, should, and imply a need to do something, it is not always possible to justify it as such. "I should do..." this or that? Is your life dependent on it? Is someone holding a gun to your head? Threatening to pull the trigger if you don't comply? Of course not. I believe that we use the word, should, to perpetuate a familiar, though not necessarily flattering Self concept. This Self concept holds our worth and value as a person captive to an achievement not yet accomplished. Therefore, our acceptability is conditional.  It is dependent on doing something more, less, or different than we currently are. That we are not yet unconditionally acceptable. Want implies just the opposite. When we use want, rather than should, we more often consider ourselves to be complete, unconditionally acceptable, even deserving, exactly as we are. This may be a difficult, even uncomfortable, concept to buy into. But, if you are interested in your personal growth and developing a stronger sense of Self and Self esteem, why not give this exchange of words some consideration and see what happens?

How To Break A Pattern

Patterns. They're everywhere. Even within our ways of being. Most of us, I believe, have at one time or another recognized such a pattern in their life. Maybe you are aware of a pattern in your life today that you'd like to see change. A way you act or behave in certain circumstances. Or a way you express yourself in certain situations. Or maybe you see a pattern in the way certain things keep turning out. If this is the case... If you are witnessing something in your life taking place or showing up more frequently than you would like, you're at the perfect starting point to transform it for good. 

Patterns can be insidious. And, insidiously frustrating to avoid. But, patterns have a beginning. And, therefor, they have an end. The difference is that when a pattern began, it did so with very little, if any, conscious effort on our part. To end a pattern, however, will require a much more deliberate effort.  

If you are presently upset by some pattern... And, are willing to, right here and now, declare yourself committed to getting past it... Read on.....



Essential to transform a pattern is to examine 3 things. That consciously or not, you chose to think or behave a certain way at some certain moment in your life. That you are the source of it's continuation. Whether intentionally or not, you continue to operate that same way in those same situations. And, that only conscious intention will allow you to be the source of it's end. Accepting these 3 ideas are absolutely essential to the process of moving beyond the patterns set in place. What took no consciousness to begin will take much greater consciousness to transform. And, developing that level of consciousness takes commitment.

I say, transform, because that is what will happen. The pattern will not so much stop, as  become something else. Some new way of being will show up in the moment that was once occupied by that reoccurring behavior. And, though we may not know now exactly what that will be, following these steps will result in it being a far more authentic, rather than automatic, way of being. We will have the power to transform a pattern only when we can recognize the power we use to keep it in place and accept this reality. Until then, we will continue to find ourselves stuck and claim others and our circumstances as the cause. One of the most essential tools we seem to lack is the consciousness to see our role in maintaining the status quo and the compassion to accept its truth .

When we object to taking responsibility for something that is primarily within our control we fall into the role of victim. If we presume something outside ourselves to be the cause for what we feel, think, do or say, it is in that moment that we invest in the idea that we have less power than that thing we are claiming as cause. And, no person thinking of themselves as a victim of the circumstances will produce the kind of transformation we're talking about.

Step number 2, for those of you keeping count, is to take 2 to 3 minutes nightly to reflect on your day, and try to identify times you observed some aspect of the pattern you want to transform, and writing down whatever you see. Could be an incident in which you blamed another for something only you had control of. Or, a person or circumstance that you thought of yourself as a victim of. 

The intent is to start reflecting on this theory that ONLY YOU are the source of your experience. Journaling is a way to bring more consciousness to this idea and begin to reclaim your control and response-ability for the quality of your life. 
 

If you do nothing else, this one simple exercise will give you ownership of the automaticity that's been keeping the pattern alive. And, only one who owns their experience can transform it.


If you ever feel inclined to examine any of this further or be coached in becoming more true to your Self, please call.