Thursday, November 3, 2016

Searching For Yourself.

Are you searching for yourself? When you think of the the number of books, videos, podcasts, seminars, etc., devoted to self realization it's almost like everyone, everywhere, is looking to find themselves and become more of what they think they should be. 

While this searching represents a genuine interest in personal growth, it can perpetuate the idea that who you are is somehow not enough.

We look for ourselves in what we say and do. We look at our circumstances and assess ourselves based on our perception of these circumstances. We judge ourselves based on our assessment of our friends, family, and coworkers.

Many of us are so invested in finding ourselves we miss the profundity of who we already are. In the process we unintentionally sabotage our self esteem. If that's you, you're not alone by any stretch of the imagination.

Few things have such an empowering influence on our self esteem than seeing ourselves with crystal clarity and accepting ourselves - as we are - unconditionally.

I can't say that I always see myself with that kind of clarity or accept my self unconditionally. My belief, however, is that I'm always being my best self. When I'm unconscious of this, I look elsewhere to find myself; compare myself to the perception I have of the people and circumstances in my life and often lose in that comparison. 

One of the most important catalysts for realizing and accepting yourself unconditionally is acknowledging yourself - with genuine interest and regularity. Investing your time and energy in acknowledging yourself, at least to the same degree as you compare and invalidate yourself, will replace automaticity with consciousness and self questioning with acceptance. And, you'll find yourself to be exactly as you are....complete, whole, and perfect.


Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Mistaking contentment for complacency.

Don't mistake contentment for complacency.  
I have. Many of us do. Doing so, we deny ourselves the experience of contentment for fear of becoming complacent. 

Definition of complacency:  'a feeling of security, often while unaware of some potential danger, defect, or the like; smug satisfaction with an existing situation, condition, etc.' 

That is not contentment! 

I often work with people who confuse the two. As I share about contentment being something we will work towards experiencing I often get push back. The concern that seems to come up is that contentment will lead to complacency and diminish any ambition to improve their circumstances. 

Being complacent is a comfort zone. Sitting in a familiar old raggedy chair can be so very comfortable. But, it is not an authentic representation - or an acknowledgement - of all you have learned, achieved, and deserve in life.

Definition of contentment: a state of happiness and genuine satisfaction.

Contentment is a starting place; A place from which to grow - rather than a place to get to. A place from which you can ask yourself "what do I want?" as opposed to "what do I need?" Avoid the feeling of contentment for fear of becoming complacent and you will perpetuate thinking that contentment is something to be found outside of yourself; Never quite within reach.
Being content is an experience associated with self esteem and a solid foundation from which to leap forward. 
Truth is, I'm still a student learning to separate and experience contentment. And, occasionally, when not confusing the two I get to it.